Holding Absence – 24th, 25th 28th November 2023
The year started with me seeing Holding Absence during their “Live & In Monochrome” tour at the O2 Academy Oxford, so it seems fitting to bookend my year with seeing them again. This time though it’s going to be three almost back-to-back nights for their “The Noble Art of Self Destruction” tour. I caught them at an album signing event in Brimingham back in August. In September I suffered a serious ankle injury that is still healing, minimum of 4 months the specialist said. So, bit concerned about being on my feet all night, but I’ve got walking boots and an ankle support so fingers, or should that be toes!, crossed.
Friday 24th November – O2 Forum Kentish Town
As for that first gig the weather has turned cold as I set off towards London. Last night they announced a pop-up merchandising sale at a pub a short walk from the venue. I was hoping my train would arrive in time for me to get there. It did and after checking in to the hotel I walked the 30 minutes to the pub, catching a bus for the last stretch, well it was getting cold 😊 The pub was already packed but I squeezed through to grab a drink and join the queue.
Once near the front Ben, bass guitar, greeted me warmly remembering I’d been at the Birmingham signing. He explained they’d not brought enough gear not expecting so many to turn up. Well as there’s a reduction in cost (no venue markup) most people who can, will try to take advantage. I asked for a tour t-shirt which he retrieved for me, and I waited to pay.
Afterwards I found a table to stand at with my drink watching the queue slowly grow and contract. Scott, lead guitarist, was also there greeting people coming and going. Once the queue was dying down, I went back and got a “Crooked Melody” t-shirt, a favourite song of mine. At the end I offered to help carry the stock back out to the van as did another person so that made light work for them.
Next up was eating so off I go towards the venue looking for somewhere suitable and warm. The Portuguese chicken emporium was handy, so I popped in to eat before venturing off to join the by now small queue. At the bag check a security guard brandished his magic wand at me so I held up my “free pass” card at him. This confused him enormously but after a brief exchange I explained he can’t use the magic wand as it will interfere with my pacemaker but happy for him to frisk me!
As I enter the stage is being prepared so I head to the coat check and managed to get both outer layers onto one hanger. Well at that price I’m glad I did. The bar queue had dissipated by the time I arrived so not too long to wait.
Thornhill
I hadn’t realised I’d missed the first band as I squinted through the haze to see it was Thornhill on stage. Impressed by the opener “Viper Room” I decided to get closer. Their lead singer exudes a beguiling charm that draws you into the song all the while backed by skilful drumming and guitar work. There’s not much conversation between songs, which I like, they prefer to let their music do the talking which it certainly does. You feel drawn in as Jacobs, lead vocalist, voice almost croons at you one second before serenading you with blood curdling screams. The switch is seamless and the song writing strikes a balance between soft and full throttle. The pit has formed as we’re treated to “Reptile” specially chosen for tonight apparently. Before their last song they pay tribute to Dark Divine who I missed and of course “the reason we’re all here” Holding Absence to huge applause. Thornhill were good and set the tone very well, I’ll look them up further.
There’s time before Holding Absence to refresh and get refreshment. Although sold out it doesn’t seem too busy yet but there’s lots of movement in the crowd. I decide I’ll get a fairly middle spot and see what happens when it kicks off. The lights dim and there’s a palpable expectation in the air as guitar chords swell as the band enter.
Holding Absence
Immediately they are straight into “Head Prison Blues” with Lucas’ vocals sounding so full of emotion at once full of hope yet there is despair laced into it as he sings “I’m losing the will to go on”. Looking at the crowd I wonder how many that resonates with, I know I’m one. For me this is the reason I am fanatical about HA without knowing it they have written the soundtrack of my life. Their next song is “Crooked Melody” and until I heard the acoustic version always thought Lucas sang “Suicide’s a crooked melody” rather than “I sing myself a crooked melody”. Not an easy mistake some may think but give it a listen. At this point I get a little damp as it’s kicking off in the pit and a few not quite empty cups are hurled into the air.
By the end of the song I’ve moved forward and as “Gravity” kicks in with the encouragement to jump I’m moving again. The band are full of energy with Lucas’ high kicks, Scott joining him, Ben whirling around the stage head banging and of course Ash on drums beating the life out of them, it’s hard not to be captivated by it and join them.
“False Dawn” ushers in one of those big sing alongs with the crowd providing the backing vocals to Lucas’ delight. It feels as if their energy feeds us as ours feeds them in return. This seamlessly transitions into “Scissors” one of the heavier songs on the new album and the crowd is on fire a swirling mass of people. At this point I’m hit on the head by a crowd surfer and I lose my glasses. Cue panic but the good people around me all stop as I grope around on the floor and come up triumphant. Being further forward and central a few other people come over one poor person was dropped at the last minute but bounced right back up and over the barriers.
An acoustic version of “Like a Shadow” brings a calm, an eye of the storm, as Lucas shows what a fantastic voice he has as it echoes around us all. He encourages us to sing the last chorus with him and as it dies down there’s a huge roar of appreciation and applause. “Honey Moon” suitably follows this before we get to the set closer of “Wilt”.
If you have not seen their Heavy Metal Awards 2020 rendition on YouTube, I encourage you to. “Wilt” is filled with emotion lyrically and Lucas puts this across superbly with full backing from Scott, Ben, and Ash. You can feel that raw emotion in the music, the reverb in the guitars and the almost pleading of the drums. Its impact is devastating almost shocking the audience into tears such is its power, especially with the lyrics “Hold me now, for a little bit. The Love that we watched wilt”. Phew! It’s good we can have a breather after to recharge before they re-emerge for the encore.
However, it’s straight back to that emotional roller coaster as “Celebration Song” hits with Lucas proclaiming, “I’m Alive!” right as the cannons fire gold confetti over us. This proclamation re-invigorates the crowd and we’re bouncing, gyrating, singing along with the band. I’m now second row almost underneath the band looking straight up as the transition into “Afterlife” hits with us joining in “And when I close my eyes I dream I’ll see you in the afterlife”.
There’s more to come as the final song “Angel in the Marble” brings another wave along, hands aloft we sway in time with the band. This is a piece of exemplary song writing positively written about overcoming your flaws, mistakes, and adversity to be a better person. This maybe on their list for some time to come as it is a massive anthemic song with great sing along moments.
Lucas said how it was a dream come true to headline this venue, how far the band had come and thanks for all our support. He and the band wished they could play longer as most of us would like but there will be more opportunities for us and definitely more for them at bigger venues.
As we drifted away I joined the cue for the coats with two ladies and we got chatting about Download. They’re going next year and Holding Absence will be there. I explained that I’m not as son and I decided to try Bloodstock for a change. We chatted about bands and things in general but then they were outraged I’d managed to get two coats on one hanger. I pointed out that one was little more than a bin bag and that if Download was anything like 2019, I highly recommend an actual bin bag as a raincoat, cheap, waterproof and doesn’t matter if it gets ruined in the pit!
Half hour walk back to the hotel and once back my ankle had held up well which is good because I’m repeating all of this tomorrow.
Saturday 25th November – Stylus, Leeds University
I had a lie in after last night’s efforts and a good breakfast before packing up and setting off for the train station. This time I decided to go by bus rather than have to walk up/downstairs for the underground. Handily the bus stop was near by and would drop me off close to Euston Station. At the station I grabbed my lunch and hung around waiting as I had nearly an hour. As the departures scrolled up the board and 1pm departures appeared I suddenly realised I was at the wrong station! Doh! I needed to be at Kings Cross and I had 30 minutes to get there. Having worked in London and arrived at St. Pancras and King Cross during my time I knew it was only a short walk to Kings Cross from Euston so off I set.
Arriving at Kings Cross we were kept waiting till 10 minutes before departure for the platform and it’s never warm at stations. Once on board though I had a seat and could settle down to eat my lunch. Journey was uneventful and on-time into Leeds. I don’t know Leeds and exiting the station I had to walk around the building works back on myself where I wanted to go. Once on the correct road I noticed another entrance/exit to the station! Oh Well the walk had warmed me up. Tonight’s hotel was out of the centre next to a motorway and as I approached someone was on the roof looking down.
Settled in the next thing is to figure out where Stylus was in relation to the hotel and find somewhere to eat. Stylus was 25 minutes’ walk so not bad but nothing between here and there to eat at. So, hotel food it’ll have to be. Oh dear they only had their 24h menu on which was sandwiches or pizza. I choose a pizza as it’ll be warm got a drink and waited. The pizza was OK but it came with stuffed crust, I don’t like, despite saying it didn’t.
What google maps doesn’t tell you is elevation! Getting to Stylus was up hill all the way! By the time I arrived I was hot and in need of a drink. For those that don’t know, like me, it turned out that Sylus is within the Student Union and that meant lots of young people. My own youngest daughter is at university, so this was going to be a strange one. Their cloakroom was cheap by comparison to London and no objection to the number of coats per hanger.
Inside I headed for the nearest bar and was pleasantly surprised to be served reasonably priced drinks in a can! Yes, no plastic cups here, well at this bar anyway. This was in a balcony of sorts surrounding a floor area more like a gladiatorial pit. All painted black so when the lights dimmed it was dark. I’d missed Dark Divine again sorry guys.
Thornhill
As last night Thornhill were superb and the only change to their set was “The Hellfire Club” replaced “Reptile”. I got a good spot at the side next to the stage in the balcony bit and here I noticed stairs to the floor are which would be good for later. Thronhill got the floor moving with a pit developing early on as lead vocalist implored the crowd to bring the energy and the crowd duly obliged. Looking around I don’t think I raised the average age by very much at all.
After another blistering set by Thornhill I went off to the bathroom which is where things got a bit odd. As I entered and began preparations 😉, a chap stopped me to compliment me on my t-shirt and proceeded to have a conversation as I’m trying to edge closer to take care of business. He finally realised apologised and left. Back outside I spot him in an embrace with his partner and I quickly moved off to find those stairs into the pit. Descending into the throng of people I push my through to a great spot. A few minutes later I look round to see the two chaps approaching with the first one I met waving at me. We’re next to a lady who turns to see us all standing there and he explains what had happened and we all had a great laugh about it. The lady then says “do you mind if I ask how old you are?”, “no its OK I’m nearly 62”, “That’s great I’ll text my dad he’ll be so pleased he’s not the oldest here!!”. All I could do was laugh but then her dad comes over to say hello and shake my hand, turns out he’s 47. They all did say that they hoped they were still rocking when they reached 60, so fair enough compliments were paid and I can take a joke 😊
Holding Absence
As the lights dim there’s rustle of expectation as the band take the stage and immediately burst into “Head Prison Blues”. The set list is the same as last night which is no surprise to me and does not detract at all from the experience. I thoroughly enjoy the music and lyrics together with the heartfelt and passionate way they’re delivered by the whole band. You can sense and feel the love they have for each other, their music and their fans. “Crooked Melody” begins and I’m joining in, I notice my new friends are enjoying it also.
Mid set we’re lighting the room up for a good old sway along before the energy is ramped up again with Lucas directing a split in the pit before he literally kicks hell out of the lyrics. This is a band full of energy, they look hot but there’s no let up to the high kicks, head banging or dancing round the stage for them all. I wonder if Ash would love to join in or is he content with beating his drums into submission? Maybe a bit of both. Anyway, I’ve joined the mayhem and look around but can’t see my friends anymore, maybe it was too hard for them 😊
As it’s the same set list it’s the same roller coaster of emotions and ends with “Wilt” as devastating today as it was yesterday. Time for a breather and a little shuffling of the crowd brings me closer just as the band return and Lucas screams out “I’m Alive”. “The Angel in the Marble” brings the set to a close and I decide to mill about for a while to enjoy the moment.
Security moves us slowly towards the exit and I peruse the merchandise stand saying hi to the chap on the stall as I recognise him from London. My coat is brought over for me, now there’s service for you, as they want to close. I strip my t-shirt off to put a vest on and turn to see a security guard smiling, “We’ve seen worse” he says and I bet they have at a student union, I remember my student days were hedonistic and ribald and whilst I believe it’s calmed down I suspect there are wild nights still. On leaving my suspicions were confirmed as the upstairs area seemed to have a toga party in full swing so I decide it’s best to leave quickly.
At least the walk back was down hill and I had a quiet pint in the bar trying to make sense of the football on the TV.
Tuesday 28th November – O2 Institute Birmingham
After Leeds I had visited my mum and done a day’s work. Meanwhile it had got colder back to the temperature of that night in January when I saw Holding Absence in Oxford. Today it is Birmingham and I need to leave work early to get there in time to eat. The journey is uneventful and after a short walk I’m seated in a pizza chain restaurant to fill up. Next off towards the venue, the O2 Institute which is new to me. It is cold and a bit of a queue so I decided to try the pub next door for a pint first.
As I walk through the door the first thing I noticed was the many patrons dressed in black. That’s OK there is a gig next door and most people wear black but these were in formal wear. Turns out I’d walked, along with others, into the middle of a Wake. I asked at the bar and they gave me an order of service, he was a well-liked chap who had a sense of humour judging by the music choice and that they’re holding his wake in not one but two pubs! I raise a silent toast.
Whilst standing in contemplation I notice a lady sitting with a Holding Absence t-shirt I’ve not seen before. As it looks like one I’d like I ask her about it, turns out she bought at a previous show sometime. Everything in order I decide it’s time to negotiate security and with exemption card in hand I’m disappointed to not even get a pat down! Clearly they’re so bemused by this 60’s grey haired chap coming to a gig here they decided I’m safe, Well just wait till later in the pit 😊
This is a confusing venue as there’s 2 areas for gigs and Holding Absence was upstairs. Oh well up we go into yet another black room after I’ve deposited my coat. Almost immediately I realise I’ve left my ear defenders in my coat so I’m back down to pick them up. I was so quick they’d not even finished hanging it up.
Back in the darkened room I head for the bar to grab a drink and have a chat with the lady serving. I suggested she should wear ear protection and that after all “I never leave home without protection” which made her laugh! Once again I’d missed Dark Divine sorry guys. As I was messaging my son about the wake Thornhill came on.
Thornhill
Thornhill bounce onto the stage clearly revelling in last night tour vibes although the crowd are a bit slow to respond. Perhaps the cold hasn’t yet left the bodies but fear not the performance Thornhill put on is enough to melt away the stupor and get the crowd rocking. That’s not the right word but there’s definitely movement.
Towards the end they’re joined on stage by Holding Absence to play along with “Casanova” which got the crowd going even more. There’s a pit albeit a bit small in the tightly packed venue. Handshakes all round and Thornhill round of their set with a blistering performance of “Where We Go When We Die” which got me think about the wake again.
During the interlude I headed for another refreshment before starting to move forward to get a good spot for Holding Absence.
Holding Absence
The stage is set and as before the band take the stage and launch, without preamble, straight into “Head Prison Blues”. The crowd is more fired up now and as movement is taking place, a slight adjustment to space and volume, I managed to edge to about second row between Lucas and Scott (relatively speaking). “Crooked Melody” follows straight after and is moving and relatable to me and it seems with quite a few people.
Watching the band, Lucas makes you tired just looking at him, a whirling dervish punching the air whilst simultaneously high kicking through the songs. On occasion Scott joins him all the while playing sublime guitar riffs joining on vocals to provide the growls. Ben on bass is moving too nodding his head so vigorously as if to try and detach it. At the back is Ash on drums providing that rhythm that drives the melodies to the frenzied heights it achieves. The way he is beating his drums it’s a surprise the kit survives the night.
“Gravity” is next up and we are literally up implored by Lucas to jump as he shows us how. There’s little interruption the band prefer to let their music do the talking and boy does it. Having met them I know they are down to earth guys and humble with it this, together with the emotion they pour into every note and every lyric is why their music works so well. It is powerful and connects with everyone in the room in such a way that it brings a togetherness, a belonging and connection to what it means to travel the path of life. We are not alone at all and you only need to look around during a pause to see that.
There’s an extra song thrown in, “Her Wings” was requested by a lady on their social media feed hoping but not expecting them to play it, but they do. Then as if to gather breath Lucas and Scott perform an acoustic version of “Like a Shadow” that we can’t help but join in with. Lucas grabs a guitar, which isn’t a familiar sight, and helps with delivering “Honey Moon” before we get to the set closer of “Wilt”.
“Wilt” is an exceptional piece of music as I’ve mentioned before and hearing it for the third time in a week does not diminish it’s punch one bit. The crushing intonation of the vocals that Lucas delivers backed with the haunting guitars and sublime rhythms from Ash is heart rending and that’s before we get to the chorus. Despite the feeling of heartbreak it is an awe-inspiring piece that leaves you exhausted from it all.
After a brief interlude they’re back for the encore but wait, what is this? Thornhill have come out dressed as Holding Absence instead! There’s a bit of messing about as Holding Absence join them dressed as Thornhill and I thought we’d be getting a band duet. Alas not, after thanking each other Thornhill left leaving Holding Absence to thank them before Lucas declares “I’m Alive” and “Celebration Song” gets the whole crowd joining in. “Afterlife” and “The Angel in the Marble” close out their last night of the tour. They been on the road a long time and probably at least half the year touring.
As we drift away and I wander off to catch my train home, I think back over the year to when it started and my first gig with Holding Absence in Oxford. They’ve released a new superb album; I met them at an album signing and now seen them three more times. What a way to book end the year.
My Review Scores :
- Thornhill – 8
- Holding Absence – 10